Choose Move

We are moving house. They say moving house is up there with the most stressful life events. Yep. I get that. It’s an adrenaline filled roller coaster of everything. We are nearly there. More or less packed. Can’t find anything! Anyone seen the breakfast cereal? Oh, it’s packed. The kitchen roll? – Packed. The hamster (don’t panic!) – gone to the god parents.

Luckily I took yesterday off work. The solicitor, the bank, the removal company, both out-doing each other with the drama they provided. The god parent and the grandparent, who have been amazing in their practical help. It’s hideous is house moving. Don’t do it!

In to the mix, throw in two adopted kids. One who is manic about being organised. Wanting to do stuff,. To be sure everything is done. Packed away. Tidy. Keep tidying. If it’s tidy, it’s safe, he’s safe. If it’s done wrong, that’s dangerous, that’s a threat, that means he’s at risk. Need to pack more. Need to be organised. Need to be safe.

The other is in chaos.

Choose to just pack his own stuff.

Choose to put your life into boxes.

Choose all done. All Packed. Get out. Stay out.

Choose this is going to be a new start. A time to start a fresh.

Choose a last swan song, a last tango.

Choose to go missing.

Choose to get picked up by police at 3.30am.

Choose to let your “mates” spray you with a fire extinguisher.

Choose to have your hand pressing down on THAT button.

Choose to see how far you can push it.

Choose to  be scared of yourself – how aggressive you can be.

Choose to have that Adrenalin rush, that amazing feeling as you avoid the police again.

Choose to go missing until 5am.

Choose to feel alive. To know you can survive.

Choose life?

Choose living?

Choose survival.

Choose life.

Then stop.

Then remember. Moving house means danger, threats, panic, eviction, escape from the authorities/police/social workers. Taken. Taken away from what you know. Taken away from all you know. Taken away from your life.

We are moving. I don’t tell them all the drama going on with solicitor/removal company/bank/estate agent. I don’t tell them the stresses. The concerns.

We have bubble wrap. We have boxes. We have a professional team to move us. We absolutely have nothing in black plastic bin liners. Moving is safe. Moving is controlled. Moving means new starts. Moving includes those special and safe around us.

Moving is normal. Moving is safe. Moving IS life.

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4 thoughts on “Choose Move

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  1. I’m so glad you wrote about this! We’re currently thinking about a move. It’s a challenge to balance all the considerations. I KNOW a move is about the most scary and dysregulating idea in the world. At the same time, I’m not certain our family can enjoy each other in our current space much longer. The setup that used to work well for everyone, is currently stifling everyone.

    But I need to be honest with myself- while in the long run a move may be best for everyone, it could be immediately horrendous.

    Best to you. Hope you’re settled more quickly than expected.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Quite a move by the sounds of it and lots of other factors thrown into the mix. Great to see your humour shining through and I hope it all goes as smoothly as one can hope. Good luck and we hope to see you back post-move at #tweensteensbeyond to hear how it all went

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Moving and the fresh start that it brings is one of the most pleasing parts of the whole process otherwise I think we would all stick with what we know. I hope everything goes relatively smoothly, unfortunately chaos is part of it and your life attains some form of equilibrium along the way. Hope to see you back with more stories Matthew. #TweensTeensBeyond

    Liked by 1 person

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