Tom had been out most of the day. He must have had a nice day, spending time with his friend and family. They had a nice family lunch and then all went out. They must have had a nice day. That evening his friend was going to stop at another friends. Tom sent me a message, could he stop out at the local nature reserve with his other friend. They were going to camp out. It would be fun.
The other “friend” runs hot and cold. He uses Tom when he wants, then ignores him. He winds him up, then walks away. The other day he let Tom’s tyres down on his bike, “for a laugh”. His other friend does not like me. Says I don’t like him, says I don’t trust him. Yep, he is right. I do not like him.
Oh, the local nature reserve is the “place to be” for the local drug users…
My reply to his text was not that night, it was late already, and it was raining.
A barrage of horrific texts were sent back. Threatening me, things he was going to do me, to the house, to himself. He hated me. He was not coming home EVER!
He told me not to call the police.
We have not had any involvement with the police for a while, so it was interesting he referred to them. I simply sent a message, saying “No – see you at eleven”
He was raging. He had dissociated. He called me, screaming down the phone. I put the phone down. He sent another barrage of messages, including the threatening me if I called the police.
I sent a simple text back, saying “I have not mentioned the police at all. But if I need to call them I will tell them who you were last with. They will go to his house to look for you”
His other friend’s parents regularly smoke cannabis. They would not welcome a police visit late on a Saturday night.
Ten minutes later he arrived home. He was raging. He laid on the stairs. He did not know why he was so angry. I replied to him only. No discussion. I acknowledged what he was saying. I empathised. I gave him food, and a drink. He went to lounge. He was going to sleep there. He was so angry, but was able to contain himself.
I went upstairs to bed. I was impressed that he had contained himself, and had not turned aggressive. I was tired. I got in to bed.
I was awoken by James, He was angry. Tom had the TV on too loud. James had sorted him out, he was not having it, he was tired. How dare Tom wake him up. He had already been down and told him off.
I went down stairs. Tom was circling the lounge. He has lost it. James had told him off. The TV was not loud. He was minding his own business. I tried to say to just keep the volume down. He cornered me. His face in mine. His eyes glazed over. I didn’t move. I didn’t flinch. I refocused on something behind him. I saw outside it was starting to get light. Only just, but the sky was changing.
He carried on, what he was going to do me. How he was going to leave. How his birth family loved him move. His nostrils flaring as he draw breath for the next verbal diarrhoea.
He moved away. I know to move slowly, but to move. I stood at the bottom of the stairs. So I could get to a phone. Get upstairs. Get away.
He came again. Now I could move, I spoke. “I need you stop trying to scare me. I am not scared. ”
His head tilted whilst talking “But you are scared of me.”
I replied “No, no I am not”
His face came straight into mine. He said “I’m off for a cig” He turned, got the keys, and left the house.
I watched from my bedroom window. Twenty minutes later he returned. He came in . Said he was f’ing tired, and off to bed.
I watched out the window a little longer. It was nearly light. The birds were singing. It was much lighter. I went to bed.
Names have been changed.
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