We needed the police the other night. My son had gone missing. At midnight. He was distressed. I was scared for him. I called the police.
They arrived.
They asked for some back ground. I explained best I could about how he is affected by early life trauma. How he can be irrational and impulsive if something happens. He maybe a teenager, but his behaviours can be very childlike. He can appear cocky, or even confrontational, when he is scared and frightened. Like post traumatic stress syndrome. I described the support we have, and how we are struggling to get more help. I told them we had years of therapy, which did help, but that the transition to college has really unsettled him.
I was stopped.
They were not saying it to me, but. People needed to stop using the police as social workers. Families should be sorting their own problems out. The police are also affected by cuts,and can not be sorting out family problems. If, when they find him, he was to be aggressive, they would chuck him in the back of the van, and he would be treated the same as everyone else.
They left.
Five thousand, four hundred seconds later my son returned home. It was about 1.30 in the morning. He had seen the police, they drove passed him. He had been talking to a group of drunk men in the street.
The police came back.
They had seen him, but didn’t want to stop and then start chasing after him. They were cross at him. They thought he was taking the “micky” out them. Why didn’t he wave them down? Doesn’t he think they have better things to do, than driving round looking for kids who’ve run off? They asked him what he wants to do when he leaves college. He said join the army – he’s never said that before, obviously thinking of the first thing that came in to his head. They told him he wouldn’t last five minutes in the army with that attitude. He’d better sort himself out or he’d end up with nothing.
They left.
My son simply said, “I didn’t wave them down because I was scared.”
The story continues here with The Police Return
I’m sorry. There is a new crisis training available for first responders in my area that is taking hold more and more. Officers are trained usually to handle violent or dangerous situations a certain way. Mental health issues (like PTSD) are often misunderstood. I hope a crisis team becomes a thing where you are, soon. Hugs.
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Thanks you. They do know about us and the issues, but they soon forgot 😔
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So sad the police reacted like that. Here they’ve been very good. My son is registered as a vulnerable adult and I’ve given them the background info on him. Something for you to consider?
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We are flagged, they know about their issues, but as usual, they forget when they see them 😔
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Oh my goodness, this tore at my heart. I worry that this will be one of my children one day – they are only 4 and 6 at the moment, but what if….? I can’t believe the Police, after listening to you, would essentially dismiss what you are telling them and be so bolshy about it. Your poor son must have been so scared – my heart goes out to you all, and I am so glad that he is home safe.
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Wow. Just found your blog and will be adding it to my Feedly. Your writing is powerful!
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Thank you. x
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wow! police were mend to be our friends, save life and protect our property! but some of them now are our enemies! i wander. well i thank God the child is back. please show him a mother care.
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Wow. Just wow. I hope you lodged a complaint. I can understand them getting frustrated with time wasters and them thinking talking to kids this way might ‘scare them on to the straight and narrow’ but given the circumstances and the fact they are already aware of the circumstances this is just rediculous and insulting. Thank god he came home of his own accord x
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