To smoke or not to smoke…that is the question…?

27th Feb – An update…. I never purchased him any cigarettes. I found out he was bragging to his mates that I was going to be buying them , and that he would have let have other people have them! He told me his friends had let him have some during the holidays, but as he had gone so long without any he might as well stop.  I do believe him. One thing he does do is tell me the truth….eventually…as long as I don’t push the question.

Thank you for all your support. Thank you for listening. As all parents, we have to make a judgement call, which sometimes goes against the grain. This was a big one to me, and am really proud that my son has made his own decision.

Heres the the original article-

The Mini smokes. He’s 16. He buys cigarettes from his “mates”. They exploit him. One “mate” charged £15 for two packets of cigarettes. He gets given cigarettes at the shops, at school, where ever. He lies about smoking, going off for walks. He says he hasn’t smoked for 2-3 weeks, but is obsessing where he will get some from next.

I work in health care. I hate smoking. I see what it does. I advise people against smoking.

I have been thinking – do I get the cigarettes for him, with his money? Will this lose the appeal for him? Will this help stop the lying, and the manipulation from his “mates”.  This goes against everything I believe in, but if it keeps he safer? Will he get manipulated in to selling the cigarettes on, or give them away? What about an e-cig- he’s used them before.

There would be boundaries and controls. I would only buy a packet a week. What would you do? What do you think?

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “To smoke or not to smoke…that is the question…?

Add yours

  1. That’s a tough one… I think it would not make him stop though. Cigarettes are very addictive. I think continuing to try and stop him and not make it easy for him is the best. He may already be addicted and need some help to quit.
    p.s. sorry I said “she” in my first comment – I’m a brand new reader. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a tough one. I’m not sure buying them for him would help him stop. If he’s started – he’s addicted. Certainly when I smoked nothing could make me give up – that had to be my decision.
    I suppose if he knows you know (and if you could bear for him to smoke near you) you’ll at least know he’s safe.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. What a tough dilemma. The stress involved in the lying must be awful. Seeing him being ripped off must be frustrating. I guess you have to examine your own principles and ask if you want to challenge them or go against them. Would an answer be an e-cigarette? How does he feel about his friend effectively stealing his money? What does he want to do? Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. A tricky one but I’d be tempted to make it as hard as possible. Give spends in small amounts and only give the basic your happy with. Let him go for ‘walks’ but make it clear you know why hes going and then don’t go on about it. Try to find other things for him to spend his money on so he’s always short of money, that’s life!! Think we’re cracking it here x

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

Sparkle With UC

Leave a Little Sparkle Wherever You Go

Thricemarked's musings

...everything that won't fit in 140 characters

take2mumsworld

Our adoption journey with Bubble and Squeak

Hannah Meadows

resources and self-care for adoptive parents

transpositionsandtoddlertantrums

Mum. Chef Widow. Nurse and everything in-between!

The Puffin Diaries

The story of a family, the highs, the lows, the ins ,the outs, the loves, the hates and so much more...just don't mention the puffin.

Herding Chickens and Other Adventures in Foster and Adoptive Care

These are the adventures of one family in foster care and adoption.

buildingafamilytogether

Building a family through adoption.

wearefamily

an adoption support community

%d bloggers like this: