Don’t Flinch

2016 has exploded into our house. Just after midnight it became too much. We were simply sat at home, watching Big Ben and the fireworks. We watched a bit of tv. Then it was bed time and all hell broke out.

Sometime ago I learnt if I flinch things can escalate, very quickly.

In a blink he was in my face. Screaming at me. Everyone hates me. I have no friends. No one finds me funny. I can smell his breath. He tilts his head, slightly, as he spews more vile words at me. He is constantly staring at me. He doesn’t blink. His pupils are fixed on me. His eyes are begging me to retaliate. He needs me to hit him. To fight back. To show how bad he is.

I can not flinch. I can not blink. I keep constant with his line of vision. As he is pointing his finger in my face whilst he is screaming, I can not flinch.

As he screams in my face how disgusting my breath smells, I tell him needs to move back so he can not smell it, but I can not step back. No matter how much he swears, no matter how angry he gets, no matter how close he gets to me, no matter what, he can not see a chink in my armour.

I have to keep constant, I have maintain eye contact. No matter what,  I don’t flinch.

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