Listening, Constantly Listening…Watching, Constantly Watching…

One of the Minis goes to bed with his music on. He doesn’t like loud noise, but he finds the silence deafening. He can hear the house noises otherwise, and that scares him. We live in a relatively new house, but it still creaks. The heating groans, the sounds take him back to his primitive time, when noise meant chaos, raised voices and mean words. Silence meant terror, sheer terror.

So I go in, every night, to check on him, and turn his music off when he is asleep.

The other Mini hates to have a light on. It has to be pitch black. If not, he can see shadows; silhouettes dancing across his walls. Other times, the shadows would creep towards him, dragging him to times in the depth of his subconscious.

For many years bedtimes were fraught with anger or fear. We were all tired, exhausted. I used to dread the bedtime routine, but over the years, the constant repetition, the nurturing, the reassurance, bedtime now means sleep. Sleep is now, most of the time, a safe time.

It’s good to take stock and to look back to see how far we have come.

I hope you have a peaceful, restful sleep. Leave the music on and turn the lights off.

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4 thoughts on “Listening, Constantly Listening…Watching, Constantly Watching…

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  1. I’ve always been pleased that both our boys have, mostly, slept very well from day one. However we have gone through fazes where night lights are needed or calming music. We do what ever we can to assist sleep because a tired child who has suffered early life trauma is terrifying to be awake with.

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  2. It’s easy to forget sometimes just how scary the nighttime can be for some children. My son used to have awful nightmares and would wake up screaming and terrified, thankfully he’s come through this now but his little sister is getting to the age where his started and last night I had to lie with her for half an hour after she woke up screaming. I had planned to lie there till she fell asleep but once she had settled and lay calmly for a few minutes she turned and said goodnight and that was my cue to leave. Sometimes she likes to have a light up seahorse that plays music turned on sometimes not, the trick is finding what works for each child individually and you’ve clearly done that, glad you’ve come through the worst of it x

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  3. That’s actually how I used to be when I was a kid. I loved the dark but hated silence so I would listen to music at night. That carried over into adulthood, even after having kids. I can now sleep without music but there are still times when the silence causes my mind to overthink and I have to use music to distract me long enough to fall asleep. It’s really great that you let your child listen to music at night. I let my boys wind down listening to music before sleep as well.

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