The Words They Use

In the heat of the moment, during a rant, or simply because they want, they will hurl verbal abuse at me. Some of their words are unbelievably hurtful. Most of the time I hide how disgusted I am by their verbal diarrhoea. It coming from a place in the past. It is their primitive brain working in overdrive, their toddler speak. I know this, but sometimes, it simply cuts deep, or adds vinegar to the wounds.

Some of the words I have been called, I apologise if they offend, have been …Where to start. . . Worse than parents, wanker, bastard, spacker, disabled, ugly, idiot, freak, disabled, blind, deaf, stupid, awful, tosser, hated, unloved, hated, unpopular, crap, shit, fucker, spotty, lonely, unloved…those are the ones I can spell and remember off the top of my head!

Often use different responses: ignoring/blanking / “can you spell that” / score out of ten “severrrn!” / “technically I am not deaf, I wear a hearing aid, so really I am hard of hearing” / “I wonder if we could get a disabled parking badge?” / “You really are thinking this one through” / “yeah, you probably right, I am feeling very unloved at the moment” / “Oh, my god, it’s a miracle! I was a cripple, but now I can walk!” / “Do I smell? Oh, thanks, will get some more deodorant on – want to borrow some?” Am careful not to be sarcastic, derogatory or patronising. Often simply ignore. Certain words I address later, to ensure they know what they mean. Often ask if they would say words to people we know who have disabilities etc… Often make a story up to make them refelect. ” I wonder how Grandma would feel if someone called her deaf?” Also had a swear box, which would have paid off Greece’s national debt. Sometimes, it still hurts…

 

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  1. My youngest used to tell me he hated me when between the years of 3 and 5. It was a daily occurrence. Most days I would ignore it or I would respond with “Well I love you so…” His dad hated it though. I knew it was a natural part of going through that stage but his dad couldn’t stand it. He would walk away because he was so hurt by it. It does hurt when our children say mean things but I think you’re handling pretty well. Better than most parents I know. Keep up the good work!

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